


All That Glitters

by Anonymous



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Glitter Pubes, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Zushi (mentioned) - Freeform, get this man some therapy, poor Illumi, zoldyck family dinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28847364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Illumi Zoldyck knows that Killua's new friend, Gon, is definitely not good enough for him. So, logically, he decides to tail him. Overhearing a phone call between Gon and a friend, about glitter of all things, Illumi decides Gon is harmless. But why is Killua coughing at the Zoldyck's family dinner?
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 7
Kudos: 72
Collections: anonymous





	All That Glitters

**Author's Note:**

> this is the funniest and dumbest thing i've ever written i'm not sorry

No, Illumi wouldn’t say he was obsessed. Any good older brother, he reassured himself, would do the same if they were in his position. Following Killua’s new friend, _Gon_ , around was for his younger brother’s safety. In a family like the Zoldycks, one made enemies, not friends, and Illumi was hard pressed to make sure that this boy had no ill intentions.

Well, even if he didn’t, he still wasn’t good enough for Killua. 

Pulling the strings of his hoodie just the slightest bit tighter, Illumi arched his back ever so slightly, bending enough that he could see around the corner of the building he was taking cover behind. Wide eyes scanned the area, stopping when they saw a slim figure featuring a head of (what he was sure was dyed) dark green hair. Not like Killua’s hair. Killua’s hair was naturally beautiful, another reason this Gon didn’t deserve to interact with him. 

Sporting a pair of light green overalls and a loose fitting henley, mud caked on well-worn leather boots, Gon Freecs was hard to miss. Not like Killua. Killua could blend in effortlessly when he needed to, Illumi thought with distaste. Reminding himself to save his personal feelings for after he was done, that observing Gon was more important right now, Illumi cleared his head, listening closely to Gon, who, upon closer inspection, was talking on the phone.

“Hey, Zushi, have you heard about people dying parts of their body hair?”

Illumi paused. _These were the kinds of conversations this boy had in his free time?_

Gon laughed at something said on the other line. “How’d you know I want to do it? I want to put glitter on it too!”

Eyebrows furrowed, Illumi bent back a little bit more, making sure that he had heard correctly. Glitter? Was Gon actually harmless, an airhead more than anything else? 

“Yeah, Zushi, you can even do it _down there_! I think I’d do silver glitter!”

Illumi coughed. _Okay_ , he thought, _I’ve heard more than enough. Gon Freecs is clearly harmless._

  
  


* * *

  
  


Illumi was positively beaming. Though, he would never outwardly show it, so it was more of a slight curl to his lip. It had been a few days since he had tailed Gon and found nothing, not to mention Killua had finally agreed to have family dinner again.

“Isn’t this nice, Kil, to be here all together at dinner?”

Killua closed his eyes, moving his hands to rest at the back of his head. “Sure. You know, you guys are all lucky I agreed to this. I was hanging out with Gon earlier and even left early for this!”

On his left, Alluka grinned, looking up at him with adoration. “Thanks for coming, Killua! I’m so happy to see you!”

Killua ruffled her hair affectionately. “I’ll come see _you_ any time, Alluka.”

“Alright!” Kikyo clapped her hands together, grabbing her family’s attention. “Let’s eat. Tonight, the staff has prepared—”

She was interrupted by Killua coughing violently.

“Killua, son, are you alright?” Silva asked him, coming around the table to pat him on the back.

“Yeah, fine,” Killua said hoarsely. “I must just have something stuck in my throat.”

Illumi turned to his little brother in concern as Kikyo leaned over. “Killua,” she asked, “is that….glitter?”

Illumi froze.

No.

No way.

Absolutely not.

It can’t be.

_No,_ Illumi thought. _It’s a trick of the light. Or it’s a coincidence. There’s no way that—_

“How did you end up swallowing silver glitter, Killua? It’s all over!” Silva exclaimed, grabbing a glass of water for his son, who was still coughing up pieces of glitter. “Illumi, can you grab….Illumi? Why are you so still? Can you please help?”

Illumi sat as still as a statue, eyes glazed over and mouth in a rigid line.

Silva sighed. “Oh, whatever. Milluki, go grab my phone for me.”

As his family continued to move around him, trying to uncover exactly how Killua had swallowed silver glitter, Illumi had only one thought going through his mind.

_Gon Freecs was absolutely not harmless._


End file.
